Brian is running out to play soccer with is friends at recess when he passes by Steven, how yells out, "You run like a girl!", and then laughs. Is this bullying or just an isolated case of mean behavior? Well, the truth of the matter is, it depends.
Through guidance lessons a Vaughan, we have taught our students that true bullying usually has to meet 3 criteria to be considered bullying. Students can remember the criteria by using the acronym R.I.P.:
1) Repeated- Is the person who is bothering you doing it over and over again?
2) Intentional- Is the person who is bothering you trying to hurt or humiliate you on purpose or are they unaware of how hurtful their actions ar? Do they think they are participating in fun teasing that you both think is funny?
3) Power-Based- Does the person who is bothering you have more physical or social power than you have?
If the behavior meets these 3 criteria, it is probably bullying behavior. In the above scenario, if Brian is continuously teased by Steven, feels Steven is trying to humiliate him in front of other children, and thinks he can't do anything to stop Steven, then it is bullying. However, if Brian doesn't feel humiliated or threatened by Steven, it may just be an annoying or mean isolated incident.
Mean and annoying behavior can sometimes just be ignored or the student can stand up to the person being mean and use words to solve the problem. At Vaughan, we learn many of these TOOLS to deal with problems in Kindergarten.
However, bullying cannot be ignored. True bullying can lead to fear, anxiety, and school phobia because a victim is trying to avoid the bully at all costs. We have taught the students that the bystanders are usually the most effective way to stop bullying behavior. Bystanders are anyone who is witnessing the bullying behavior. We teach the students that if they are a bystander, we want them to help. Helping can be anything from not being an audience to the bully, asking the victim to play with you and your friends, or reporting the behavior to a trusted adult. Bystanders or victims of bullying behavior can fill out a BULLYING REPORT form, which can be found in the counselors area. All reports are confidential and we investigate each reported incident, using care to protect the identity of the bystanders.
To learn more about bullying and what to do about it visit http://www.cobbk12.org/preventionintervention/bully_prevention_resources.htm